[07-05-24, Thu, Cloudy] House Labor, Quarrel

When some crazy ideas jumping into me, i always cannot wait more days or even more minutes to get them realised. For what? I don't know yet, to prove something to myself perhaps, or some unhealthy and weird imposing feeling, whatever.

Moving furnitures up and down, left and right, tearing down all the ugly curtains to show off my beautiful windows, calling landlord to organize a house repaint... Hurt my toes and fingers when moving some heavy shelves and glasses. But anyhow i got it done likein the jungle, all by myself, surprised myself by my hidden strength.

A big quarrel with my parents, again, feel bad and guilty as usual. But it will happen again as i still don't know how to control my shitty emotion. too bad... calm down, calm...

Start to find that he will never be there when i need him, his life style is far from what i like, and my desire is never what he could understood. This is not any more a culture difference but, 2 lines in parallel...